


In-Laws

by gwendee



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Family Dynamics, Gen, Male-Female Friendship, OR IS IT, Platonic Relationships, Post-Canon, Reunions, i dont know how to tag this fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:29:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24895447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwendee/pseuds/gwendee
Summary: (Sort of).“Your brother, Koro-sensei,” Akari points to Itona, and then to herself, “and my sister, were basically common law married-"Itona’s head whips around as he tries to spot his friends to signal for help."-So, anyways,” she says, “my point is that we’re siblings.”Itona's completely lost her.
Relationships: Horibe Itona & Kayano Kaede
Comments: 17
Kudos: 123





	In-Laws

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I wrote this. I am? Obsessed. Itona and Kayano/Akari bonding please. The tentacles. So much potential. They would have been bffs. You KNOW they would have been.

**In Laws (sort-of)**

“So you were Koro-sensei’s brother-”

“We weren’t brothers,” Itona says.

“ _ So you were Koro-sensei’s brother, _ ” Akari(Kayano?) repeats, rolling her eyes into her drink. “DNA, tentacles, whatever, sort of brothers-”

“That’d make you related too,” Itona points out. “You had the tentacles as well.”

“ _ I’m getting there, _ ” Akari says insistently, wagging a finger in Itona’s face. 

Itona blinks, bewildered.

She jabs a finger onto his chest, “Koro-sensei’s brother,” then points to herself, “Aguri Yukimura’s sister. They had like, a thing, right?”

“A thing,” Itona echoes, perplexed.

“A  _ thing _ ,” Akari agrees, waggling her eyebrows. “She sacrificed herself for him, he carried on her legacy, blah blah, that sort of thing. You don’t go through all,” she makes an aborted hand gesture, “that, for like, a random person you see on the streets. That’s true love, you get it?  _ True Love _ .”

“I-”

She grabs onto his shoulders suddenly, and shakes him until his brain rattles. “ _ True Love! _ Forbidden romance under the most grueling of circumstances! That's a billion dollar movie script type drama!”

Itona’s head whips around as he tries to spot his friends to signal for help. They’re all occupied with their own meandering, frivolous activities, and have yet to notice Kayano shaking Itona down for - cash? Information? His AncestryDNA test results? 

It’s the tail end of everyone’s last year in high school, and they’ve decided on a 3-E class gathering to herald in the new stage in their lives. Itona’s here, because he didn’t see a reason not to be, and because Ryoma and Kiara told him politely that they were going to drag him here by force if he didn’t show. And now they’ve abandoned him to the weirdest intervention in his life, and he’s seen  _ weird _ .

Itona doesn’t remember Akari being this, well… talkative. To him, at the very least. Itona doesn’t think he’d held a full conversation with her in his life, until now.

“...cool?” He squeaks.

Akari blinks, like she’d found his panicked expression amusing, and then quickly settles back into his chair and smiles mildly. It’s a jarring change. He reminds herself that she’s an actress - she’s professionally trained to switch personalities back and forth like that. It was kind of terrifying.

“So, anyways,” she says, “my point is that we’re siblings.”

Itona’s completely lost her.

“Your brother,” she points to him again, and then back to herself, “and my sister, were basically common law married. They’re a couple, there’s no contesting that, you can’t argue otherwise. Which makes  _ us _ brother and sister in law! Me having the tentacles is inconsequential - in fact, I’m skipping over that minor detail entirely, just makes it all too complicated-”

Itona’s gaze darts quickly to Ryoma, who’s mid-argument with Karma about undoubtedly something idiotic. Whatever it is, it can wait, because Itona is in a far more urgent crisis.

Akari’s still talking. “-and that makes us family,” she says, looking satisfied at the speech that Itona caught none of. She turns her attention back to him, grinning expectantly.

“...That’s great?” Itona tries.

“Yes!” Akari says, clapping her hands together. She takes a long sip of her drink, and then sets it down. The mood abruptly turns somber without any real reason for it to do so, and Itona almost expresses his awe of how Akari manages to control the atmosphere of a situation, but she says, “do you have siblings, Itona?”

“No,” Itona says. “...aside from you, I guess.”

Akari laughs a little. “Being an only child must be lonely, huh.”

Itona’s been by himself for the most part of his childhood. Admittedly he does wonder if that would have changed if he had a sibling to weather the uncertain times with, and perhaps he wouldn’t have lapsed into that depressive loneliness that made him turn to Shiro in the first place.

He looks at Akari, who’s staring a little listlessly into the bottom of her glass, a stark contrast of the girl a few moments prior, and then he remembers a detail about her a little too belatedly, considering it’s all she’s been talking about since she’d slid on the chair next to him.

“Your sister,” he says.

Akari rests a cheek on her hand. “Kinda miss her sometimes.”

Itona’s terrible at comforting people. His inability to interact with his peers came with, well, being alone for a large part of the early years where others would take the time to develop their social skills. “Sorry,” he says, awkward. It doesn’t sound enough.

“Thanks,” she mumbles. “Ugh. I hate feelings.”

“Me too,” he says.

Akari laughs again. “Sorry for unloading this on you. Alcohol gets me a little… you know.”

Itona furrows his brow. “Alcohol?” 

“Yeah,” Akari says, now staring at him with thinly veiled bemusement. “Sake.” She gestures to the glass in his hands. “They spiked the drinks.”

Her face is a little flushed. Come to think of it, Itona is feeling warm. Huh. That’s why the punch tasted a little weird.

She rolls her eyes at him again, good-naturedly. “If you can’t even tell someone spiked your drinks, you’re going to get into tons of trouble.”

“I can,” Itona defends. “It tastes weird, but not… bad. I just… thought they were bad at preparing drinks.” He saw Muramatsu, Terasaka and Maehara giggling to themselves as they filled the dispenser before the get-together. He assumed one of them just poured something weird in (which seemed more like Karma’s type of prank, but he’d gotten here late grumbling about how he has to actually study now or something) but the end product tasted fine, so he figured it wasn’t too bad.

Besides, 3-E’s regular shenanigans were already insane by normal people standards. How was he supposed to discern what drunk behavior was?

“The brother thing was kinda weird, huh,” Akari says, a little more to herself than to Itona. “Sorry I ambushed you with that. I was just… it came to mind. I just missed being a sibling, as silly as it sounds.” 

Itona looks at her. He can understand that, he thinks. Not narrowed to the specificity of being a sibling, but the general feeling of loss. Being alone.

“It’s okay,” he says. “We can be siblings.”

Akari giggles. “Yeah! We’re in-laws. You know, sort of.”

“Sort of,” Itona agrees.

**Author's Note:**

> This is, as far as I'm concerned, the start of a beautiful friendship.


End file.
